给父母的十条建议

司马如花

Accept that life changes when you have a child.
当你有了孩子之后要接受生活中的变化

Posted Sep 19, 2015

养育孩子照顾家庭并且还要保持自己生活平衡,这可是一项艺术。以下的十条建议可能会对你有所帮助。

1.Identify your child's strengths.
    发现孩子的强项。

You can use them to build your child’s self-esteem, helping to provide the confidence he or she needs to tackle whatever seems difficult. Children will be more willing to listen and understand how to correct adverse behaviors if their dignity is intact.
你可以利用这些强项为孩子建立自信，为他们提供解决困难所需的自信，不关是怎样的困难。如果有完整的自尊自信，孩子们将会更愿意听取家长意见、更愿意理解如何纠正自己的不良行为。

2.Punishing a child is not as effective as using praise and rewards.  
    惩罚孩子不如称赞和奖励有效。

Rather than focusing on weaknesses, find ways to assist your child in developing to his or her full potential.  When encouraged, children will acquire talents to compensate for any deficiencies.
不要将焦点集中在孩子的弱点上，而是要寻找多种方法坚持发展孩子的全部潜能。受到鼓励孩子们才会获得才能，以此来弥补任何不足之处。

3.Avoid negative emotional reactions, such as anger, sarcasm, and ridicule.  
    避免消极情绪的反应，比如生气、嘲讽和奚落。

If your child has problems with control, negativity will only make him or her feel worse. Use short and mild suggestions to remind your child to focus, like “P.A.,” for “pay attention.”
如果你的孩子有自控方面的能力，否定只会让他或她感觉更糟。使用简短的、温和的建议来提醒你的孩子集中注意力，比如“P.A.（pay attention的简写，意为集中注意力）” 来代替 “pay attention（集中注意力）”。

4.Don’t compare siblings.
    不要和兄弟姐妹做比较。

If a child thinks his or her brother or sister is favored, it can create a rivalry that may last the rest of their lives and cause problems in your family. Make sure your kids know that they are loved equally.
如果一个孩子觉得他或她的兄弟姐妹受宠，这样会创造一个竞争氛围，这种心理会在孩子今后的人生中继续延续，并且还会引起家庭中的矛盾。

5.Get support if you need it.
    如果需要的话要寻求帮助。

Life with children is a roller coaster ride. Understanding that there will be negative aspects to child rearing and getting some professional advice when necessary will help you maintain your sanity and enjoy the experience.
有了孩子后的生活就像坐云霄飞车一样。要明白，养育孩子也会有消极的方面，在需要的时候寻求一些专业的建议将会帮助你维持健康的心理并且享受育儿的过程。

6.Children need positive attention.
    孩子们需要正面的关注。

If they do not receive positive attention from family, they may choose to seek out negative attention.  This is because negative attention is still attention, and any attention is better than being ignored.  Remember to communicate with your child. Love and care are the greatest healers.
如果他们接受不到来自于家人的正面关注，那么他们可能会选择寻找负面关注。这是因为负面关注也是关注，并且任何关注都比忽视好得多。记住与孩子多交流。爱和关心是最好的心灵治愈师。

7.Monitor your child’s use of the Internet.
    监督孩子的互联网使用。

The stuff kids can access in cyberspace can be dangerous. Get a program that will let you see the web sites they visit and monitor their chats.
有些允许孩子进入的虚拟世界是很危险的。制定一个规则，你可以看到他们正在浏览的网站以及监督他们的谈话。

8.Accept that life changes when you have a child.
    当你有了孩子后要接受生活中的变化。

Lazy Saturday mornings in bed are replaced by soccer games and recitals. Remember, you still need to make time for each other – date nights and weekend getaways are important for your relationship.
孩子的足球比赛或表演可能会取代以往闲散的星期六赖床。记住，你依然需要为彼此腾出时间来——晚上聚会和周末度假对你的人际关系依旧很重要。

9.Parent by example.
    树立榜样。

Think of your kids as little bipedal copy machines who will mimic everything you do. If you behave badly, you are giving them permission to act in the same ways. Check in with yourself, and don’t lose it in front of the children.
将你的孩子想象成一台长着脚的小型复印机，他们会模仿你的一举一动。如果你的行为很不好，那么你就是在默许他们以相同的方式行动。检查一下自己，不要在孩子们面前有不好的行为。

10.Don't give up on your child, ever!  
    永远不要放弃你的孩子！

All of your child's problems can be worked through with humor, goodwill, and perseverance.With proper parental support, even the most troublesome teens can become amazing people.
孩子的所有问题都可以通过幽默、善意和坚持不懈的方式来解决。有了来自于父母们合适的支持，即使是最令人头痛的问题少年也会变成令人惊讶的人。

The mystery of what your children will be and how you can affect that outcome is what family life is all about.  Give all you can, keep your cool, and stay in the game. The results and your own joy will surprise and reward you.
你的孩子将会变成什么样的人，你又将如何影响孩子以，及以后会出现怎样的结果，这些奥秘就是家庭生活的全部意义。给予你能给予的，控制你自己，并且保持一种游戏的状态。最后的结果和你享受到的乐趣将会令你惊讶，并且会回报你。